Download PDF Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less
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Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less
Download PDF Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less
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Product details
Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Thomas Nelson; 8.2.2005 edition (August 30, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 078528303X
ISBN-13: 978-0785283034
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
112 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#40,991 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This was really helpful for helping to identify the qualities and traits that I am seeking and those that would cause me to pull the plug. My only criticism is that Dr. Warren directs us to limit our Must Haves and Can't Stands to only ten each, but the top 50 examples that he gave for those were too specific. So I see using this as a tool for analysis while dating.And I can lump 11 of his Must Haves/Can't Stands together under Christian Character as a Must Have by using 1 Corinthians 13 --1. Patient2. Kind3. Does not envy4. Does not boast5. Not arrogant6. Not rude7. Does not insist on own way8. Not irritable9. Not resentful10. Does not rejoice in wrongdoing11. Rejoices in the truthThere is NO WAY to limit his example Must Haves and Can't Stands to only 10. MOST of the 50 are things that most of us want or most of us would reject. There is NO WAY that anyone would willingly seek a partner exhibiting 40 of his listed Can't Stands, they are far too offensive. But this is still a good tool for reviewing my feelings about someone's behavior. Most importantly, Dr. Warren does not allow any wiggle room regarding those of the Narcissistic persuasion. He says...Run! Thirty years of marriage counseling gives him a lot of credibility in saying that the odds are against therapy improving any relationship with a Narcissistic partner
paperback editionIn case you don't recognize the name, Dr. Warren is one of the founders of eHarmony.com. Hey, just like it says on the cover of this book.I bought this book because I have been thinking lately that I need to clarify what I want in my next partner. And this book is precisely about that. The subtitle is "how to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less."In the introduction, Dr. Warren recommends using this book in conjunction with a membership on the website. I did not do that. I read the book. For me, this book is a great introduction for someone who wants more details about eHarmony without having to sign up for a membership. Having said that, I understand how a membership on the website would be beneficial -- you start meeting people with whom you are compatible. Emphasis on compatible. It relates to your overall happiness, to the success of your relationship. Read this book, and compatibility will make loads of sense.It is an easy book to read. My total time reading it would be the rough equivalent of having read it easily in one day, with lots of breaks.I do recommend reading the entire book before trying to go though the exercises. That will give you a better idea of how to focus your "must have" and "can't stand" lists. And even an idea of whether or not you should pursue a relationship at this time.I enjoyed this book. But it loses a star for the following:page 132"In order to speed this process, and to quantify it, I have developed what I call a 'bottom-line' test, which I mentioned in an earlier chapter (this is part of my 'Finding the Love of Your Life Kit'---information about this resource can be found at the end of the book)."I could not find any info on said "Finding the Love of Your Life Kit" at the end of the book. If you were able to find it, please point it out to me. I am interested. Unless Dr. Warren's idea of "information" is to direct me to the website.When I get around to doing all of the exercises, and maybe even joining the website, I will return and report. Meanwhile, I'm reading the sequel.
I picked up this book while on holiday in Australia & it was like a light-bulb went on in my head. I have a library at home (BIG reader!) so it's not a small thing when I say this book is on my top five must-read list for anyone. I went on to sign up for eHarmony (author is also the founder of eHarmony & the whole concept of eHarmony was built on the principles of this book!) & again the book really helped me to identify & narrow down the traits I wanted or couldn't have in a partner. It was like a journey into yourself; who you are & what makes you happy or unhappy. It does not guarantee a partner at the end, but it does help you know yourself more so that you are more savvy in your search for the right person. It solidifies that image of who you're looking for in your mind, rather than painting him or her in a romantic haze of perfection.I met my future husband on eHarmony a week after signing up & about 10 days after I went through the homework set out in the book. I can honestly say that would never have happened if I had not gone through the process of self-discovery through this book! I moved to Singapore 3 months later to be with him, got engaged 7 months after that, & we got married 11 months later. We have been blissfully married for about two years now, & in that time I have purchased probably 6 copies of the same book to give to my friends & family members who are still single. Worked for them too!So sincerely, from someone who has been reaping the benefits of this great book, buy it.
Written before he ever started eharmony, Neil Clark Warren wrote this book, and I have been giving copies away to HS seniors, who have worked in my business as a graduation gift. It may seem a strange gift, but considering most graduates meet the person they will marry within the next four years, this book helps them really learn who they are first, and then make decisions of what they are seeking in the person who is, in fact, interviewing to be a partner in life. That is most likely the second most important decision they will ever make. I will keep giving it as long as I can find copies, and the response we have received from the graduates --and their parents-- has been amazing. Several parents were so intrigued by the gift that they read it too. Great book!
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